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The meanings of this painting can be viewed |
A
teardrop was placed on the good and peaceful side of my face. I wanted to show others, as well as myself, that yes, it hurts terribly, more than I could ever handle.
But, because of Christ and His tender care and love for me, I can smile and I can survive!
It represents the pain that I went through when I encountered tragedies that came in and around my life. It
was very painful and unbearable to handle on my own. As strong and as in control that I felt or thought I was, I could only find myself as simply human. Tragedy could break me in an instant when I wasn't prepared.
It represents what my heart has experienced in God's cleansing of my undeserving life. I knew without a doubt
that I wanted to cling to God through it all.
The hand is God's hand holding me up and giving me strength when I was so weak and drained. I always knew He was there. I wrapped my hair around His arm the
way a vine clings to a solid object for support. My hair is clean, free from the mess of the tragedy.
As I drifted in and out of consciousness I begged and
screamed for the surgeon to put me out. But he only replied, "I can't put you out, we are doing everything we can to keep you conscious right now," and he kept working on my face. The orbital floor was blown out and
so was the nasal area.
The facial damage and injuries I received from the car
accident are a part of who I am. Bones were crushed and skin ripped like paper. The pain of the first surgery was too hard.
We can stay in the mess or we can clean up. It's our choice to cling to our solid foundation of Christ.
Because of the type of injuries I had, I was drowning in my own blood. My hair was soaked in this for weeks. This is why the clean hair
is important to me.
The red teardrops
is just part of what happened. My husband told me later that I cried tears of blood.Return
I colored this side of my hair dark and bloody to
show the contrast of what is peaceful and what is devastating - the hurting side.Return
Prayer chains were set up all over the United States with people I didn't even know, praying for my life. They were faithful and became a very tender part of my heart as I found out who they were one by one.
There are praying hands formed in the dark side of
the hair, pointing to the peaceful side. They represent all my friends and family that held me up in prayer when I wasn't even conscious of what I was going through.
There are other hands that are for the people who helped with food and caring for my husband and five children. Very precious people.Return
I cried much and wanted out...but I realized God was
there and waiting for me to rest in His hand. In my mind I wanted to escape, I wanted to be free from all the pain and give up. I wanted to be where no one could hurt me anymore, to be on the wings of a pure white dove and ride
in the wind where my hair could blow free and clean, soft and gentle. I wanted the wind to dry my tears. A verse in the Bible describes it as, 
A woman, (myself), is riding on the back of a white dove. I came to a point in my struggles were I didn't think I could handle the corrupt insurance teams, and the doctors that were hired by them to say I wasn't hurt and
didn't need help. The lawyers were fighting and no one seemed to care that I was struggling and not being heard.
"Oh, that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest." Psalms 55:6 KJV
I'm climbing back into God's hand. This is again when I realized I wasn't alone in all my troubles, God was there all along. All I had to do was climb back in and feel
His strength and protection.Return
Below the figure of the woman climbing into God's
hand is a huge hole. An injury to my leg left this hole below my knee cap. It was very painful and deep. I put it on the painting to represent a hole that had no bottom to it - one I could have given up and fallen into.Return
In God's hand I am resting completely in the comfort and protection of His care. This is where my "faith, hope, and being loved" by perfect Love, was my only way
to turn - in Christ.Return
The leaf of a morning glory is in the shape of a heart. I chose to use it as the love that my husband had for
me, as he, too, had to cling to God's strength. I realized how perfect a morning glory plant represents the love of my family. My family was strong in Christ and this strength surrounded me as I struggled.Return
The blossoms of the morning glory are the beauty of my children. The pink ones are for our four daughters and the blue for our two sons. Their love meant everything to me.Return
One of the pink flowers is wilted and is in God's hand along with me. This is for the 13-year-old daughter (our second) that was injured in the car accident with me.
She had many extensive injuries also.Return
On the painful side of the painting you will find one of the blue flowers formed as
a bud that never opened. It is for our baby son, Brance, who died after being born premature at the sixth month into the pregnancy.Return
Reaching up toward the morning glory bud is another figure of me, reaching for my son. I wasn't able to completely release this pain and understand my thoughts until this painting was formed. This inspired me to create
another painting called, "I Give My Tears."Return
The vine of the plant clings tightly to God's love and
knowledge with support for life. It flows down to my side as the life support that I needed to keep my lungs filled with air. I had punctured a lung in the accident and the pain of putting a tube into my chest was a pure
nightmare. The pain of this gave me permission to give up -it was too much.Return
The pain was so bad that I allowed the support line to
continue into the deep hole that is below God's hand. I call it the "bottomless hole.Return
I dreamed I had gone through a door and inside were the most beautiful gold, silver, and precious stones which
made me want to continue on into the next door. Each door opened into yet a more beautiful scene, until I reached for the fourth door. I was told if I go through that door I can never return. I had a choice and it was very
difficult. 
The doors above my right eye reminded me of a
dream I had while I was in the hospital still in intensive care.
A that point in the dream the nurse woke me up to take my vital signs and the dream stopped. The next morning the night nurse came to see me before she left her shift and
was relieved that I was okay. She said she had become very concerned in the night, but I had pulled back up and she was so relieved.
The face of a dying man
is in the place of my right eye. My father died of cancer only three months after the car accident. I had looked like my father...my facial features where now destroyed and altered, no longer
looking like what I knew myself to look like. He was my hero, my earthly comfort and strength, and was always there whenever I needed him. It was only fitting at this time to put his face in the place of my eye.
Under God's hand I placed echoes of my screams. All of this was such a mess to go through, that I found myself many times wanting to scream so horrifying and
loud that all the angels in heaven and hell would stop their duties and hear this one cry...MINE.
Years later, I realized that those screams became a beautiful symbol of ripples in mucky waters, when God's
hand brought me out of all my trouble and I was resting in His hand once again.
"For He shall give His angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone."
Psalms 91:11-12 KJV
"Though he (we) fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with His hand." Psalms 37:24 KJV
This one verse has probably become my life testimony now.
God put this friend in my life at the right moment; (before I fell in that deep bottomless hole or flipped out completely.
I just didn't know how to play the same game and all the rules of the corrupt medical team provided by the insurance and lawyers who were making up unbelievable stories to cover themselves.
This is the hand that gave me a little hope to not give up. It represents the help of a friend who would always ask how I was doing. I would go from a fake
cover-up attitude, to devastating tears every time and when it was at its worst.
After seeing me fall apart my friend said, "Julie, you're an artist. Why don't you paint what you feel?" It struck me as
impossible at first, but then I tackled the job. Wow! When he suggested I paint how I really feel, he had no idea of the therapy he was giving me to survive. It allowed me take those feelings out and put them in front
of me to hold and look at. Also, others could now see what was going on. I needed to tell everyone "It hurts...but with Christ I can survive.
Thus, many other paintings were created in a style I never felt possible. I never trained in art. This is a talent I have thanked the
Lord for since I was a very young girl. Now, with the possibility of brain damage and permanent eye damage, broken wrist, ribs, and collar bone, among many other injuries, was I to be on another course in life? I was
confused and searching. I realized God wanted me closer to Him. There is still much more to this story of healing. But what I found is that God was saying,...
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33 KJV
So, I did a search on what that really meant...and wow! My life changed and the result of resting in God and making Him my first and highest priority was awesome.Return
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Julie Bergeron Studios
PO Box 584 Divide, CO, 80814-0584 USA
Telephone (719) 687-1815 or (719) 687-3634
E-mail JulieBergeron@artisticpage.com
All Graphics and Content Copyright ©1999 JULIE BERGERON
SITE DESIGN BY
